


Before You Go

by ASTROSE



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fanfiction, Haikyuu!! AU Week, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26338882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASTROSE/pseuds/ASTROSE
Summary: whispers of secret emotion,to survive with so much devotion.a promise to stay awake,a promise i made for his sake.- in which one promised to make him stay awake, but it just happens to be that he fell asleep on the arms of his love.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 15
Kudos: 98





	Before You Go

**Author's Note:**

> i had this in my draft for a year, i'm grateful for being able to finish it finally :) it was hard for me to portray kageyama's suffering bc i feel like i'll messed up, but despite that pls enjoy reading!

September 21

_Just toss to me._

All Hinata could think of at that moment is the sound of the ball slamming to the other side of the court. Just him and his thoughts, unaware to the sound of the cheers coming at the side of the court. Just one more point, that's all that matters to him at this very moment.

Although the rest of the members has been worried at Hinata's state, the flames of determination reflecting in his eyes can be noticed immediately in just a matter of seconds. He was pumped, he was fired and determined to win this match. The wise and observant captain, Daichi Sawamura, knows that very well.

However, that goal of winning is different from the others. He knew very well, that Hinata didn't just want to make it on another level, not just a match to pass, but something else that matters to him the most. Something else that set him into the edge of pushing all of his best and energy.

What could it be? What other reason is out there? Who is out there?

_Just toss to me._

Hinata had thought of it right at that very moment he stepped his feet off  
the ground. Like a strong breeze rushing by, he run in a swift motion, his eyes brightening at the sight of the other side. Licking his bottom lip as he jumped at the air with no hesitation, eyes opened wide with his arms getting ready to strike.

"Kageyama toss to me!"

_Slam._

It broke through the walls, passed the swords of the enemies, a satisfying sound of another point given to them. Yet Hinata couldn't seem to smile nor get proud of himself. Blank and aware of what he said, his teammates looking at him with widened eyes. Surely they knew, and he also knew, what he said.

An unknown name to them, a precious one to him.

"Kageyama?" Sugawara furrowed his eyebrows, all eyes on the short orange haired boy. Even the members from the other side of the court stared at him in confusion. As if he spoke a word that shouldn't be allowed in court. As if he called out to someone who doesn't exist in their minds. All Hinata could do was stare at the silver haired setter in guilt and regret, knowing very well that it must have hurt his feelings that he didn't call out for him instead.

Bright.

Jolly.

Sunshine.

What more could describe Hinata?

But as he passed by his teammates after scoring that last point, the happiness he radiates no longer seems to be there. It was normal for them to see him often cry out of happiness, but the tears he shed at that very moment was filled with despair and nervousness. Relieved, yet worried, satisfied, yet scared.

"Great job." a pat on his shoulder is what he received from their coach. Followed by a sigh and a water bottle getting handed at him, he accepted it along with the heavy emotions trapped inside of him. Biting his bottom lip and trying to suppress his tears, he chugged down the cold liquid, in hope of making him feel calm.

But along with it running down his throat, his tears also escaped and came rolling down his face nonstop. Uncontrollable sobs came out from him, his teammates staring at him in worries as Sugawara and Nishinoya approached him for comfort. Wiping his tears furiously, the two was shocked to see that same old wide smile, but the pain lingering behind was so visible that it hurts them.

And he spoke, with so many emotions escaping as a weak laugh was heard.

"Kageyama, we won."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

April 18

"Natsu! Natsu! Your best brother is here to brighten your day!"

Hinata skipped down the hallway of the hospital, chanting his sister's name happily. He greeted some of the nurses that he managed to pass by, his bright aura quickly painting a smile on their face. Although there was some doctors who looked intimidating to him, Hinata being himself would just run away and avoid it as much as possible.

As he stopped on his tracks, the paper bag on his right hand while he scratches his cheek in confusion, "Is it room 239?" he asked himself, tilting his head as he stared at the door of the room.

"Of course it is!" he grinned and started skipping his way towards it, twisting the doorknob while humming a happy tune. He quickly placed the paper bag on the top of a cabinet nearby and closed the door slowly and quietly.

Shouting the name of his sister contrast his actions, but it soon came to a halt when a larger body occupied the hospital bed instead. Hinata backed away, his back hitting the surface of the door as he panicked with widen eyes. His soul almost went out when the figure suddenly stood up, eyes wide awake, causing him to let out a shriek and continuous ear bleeding scream.

"Who?! What?! Where?! When?!"

The words that escaped his mouth made Hinata's panic risen up. The figure whipped his head back and forth, until his eyes landed on the orange haired boy's figure, with the door supporting his figure as he screamed once again when he saw him, causing him to scream in surprise at someone's presence too.

"Oi! Who are you?!" the boy shouted, glancing around to grab any near object he can throw at his direction. Hinata almost fainted at the thought that it'll be his sister's face he'll see first in the morning. However, a very lost, yet scary and intimidating looking boy greeted his day instead, shocking him to death.

"I-it's not what you think!" he shook his head, waving his hands in front of him as he dodged the slipper that came flying towards him. He managed to move quickly, surprising the boy, but as soon as he furiously threw the pillow at him, he landed with a loud thud.

"Intruder! Kidnapper! Whatever you are, I'm calling the doctor and nurses!" he shouted, while Hinata lay on the ground, the remaining soul on his body ready to be taken away, "Help! Some dumbass is in my damn room!"

"I'm not..." Hinata shakily tried to sit up, raising a finger as a protest, but with a glare coming from the boy, he quickly fell to the ground again, "— a dumbass."

As soon as he heard the footsteps coming, he quickly got up and rushed outside the room, completely ignoring the shouts coming from the boy in there. He panted and leaned on the wall for support, seeing a doctor and nurse rushing towards him as he slowly backed away from them.

"I swear, I didn—"

"Is he awake?" the doctor asked, turning his head towards the room, leaving Hinata dumbfounded and clueless, but he still managed to nod his head as a response.

They all rushed inside immediately, somehow relieved yet nervous, making Hinata confused. However as soon as they made eye contact, he was quick to get into a silly fighting stance while the blueberry haired boy was ready to throw the other pair of slipper at him.

"He was inside my room!" he shouted in an annoyed tone, almost accusing him. Hinata was startled when the nurse suddenly approached him, at first she was dead serious, making him gulped, but as soon as she smiled with teary eyes, Hinata's confusion grew more.

"I know you might not be the reason why he woke up, but thank you."

_What was that about?_

Hinata thought to himself as he walked towards the right room this time. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, still thinking about the scenes that unfold lately. Without any more hesitation, he twisted the doorknob and looked at the number of the room, hoping he'll remember it from now on.

236.

"Natsu—" his eyes widened in realization as his eyes met his sister's. Empty hands, no paper bag, no muffins for Natsu. Crap.

"Onii-chan!" she greeted excitedly, but as soon as her eyes landed on his hands, "My muffins?" she asked with those doe confused eyes, blinking twice as she tilted her head.

"I'll go get it!"

He quickly closed the door, hearing the shouts of his sister calling out for him. He hid behind a corner, peeking and seeing the door flying open as the nurse came out first. The doctor followed after, telling something to the nurse as she wrote it down on her clipboard. He rushed towards them and panted once he got there, peeking inside the room, he was still met by that scary and dark aura.

He flinched and pulled the doctor as a shield, making the man startled. The doctor chuckled, patting his shoulder, "Go on, greet him. He's not that scary." he reassured him, but not even the doctor is convinced by his own words.

However, as Hinata finally took a full look at the inside of the room, his eyes widened at the sight. The paper bag tossed on the end of the bed, the boy who devoured the dessert like a hungry beast. He chomped and ate one by one nonstop as Hinata's jaw almost fell to the floor.

And he panicked, once again, "Natsu's muffins!"

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April 25

Tap. Tap. Tap. Thud!

Those are the few noises Hinata heard as he bumped into a closed door, not quite expecting such thing to ruin his lively morning. Once again, he's taking a visit for his sister who recently got checked on by the doctor. Although her condition hasn't gotten any better yet, the positive side is that she's also not in a critical state.

A paper bag once again on his right hand as he knocked on the door multiple times, before a groggy and husky voice spoke, "Come in."

"Hi!" Hinata beamed as soon as he got in, hoping that it'll somehow brighten the atmosphere inside this gloomy room. However, the boy just huffed and tossed to the other side of the bed.

"Get ou—"

"I bought muffins!" he beamed again, waving the paper bag with a smile plastered on his face. The boy quickly sat up and tossed his blanket away with sparkling eyes directed towards the paper bag.

"I guess since you told me to get out—" Hinata whistled and slowly took a step back, avoiding eye contact and reaching for the doorknob, until he got cut off by a pillow being thrown to him once again.

"Stay." the blueberry boy glared, "For the muffins." he looked away with a slight blush of embarrassment.

"Okay!" Hinata beamed once again, setting down the paper bag and taking out the tray of muffins. Before taking off the cover, he noticed the boy avoiding his glance and instead stared at the muffins, waiting impatiently. He pouted and huffed, somehow his mood is really confusing Hinata right now.

"Here! Eat!" he almost shoved it on his face, making the boy grab his wrist and take the muffin away. That quick contact of their skin somehow sent electricity in his body. They both knew they felt it, but they shrugged it off and started munching the muffins instead.

"Ah! Can I ask you something?" Hinata asked with pleading eyes after gulping down the dessert. The boy continued eating in a messy way, completely ignoring his presence, making Hinata dumbfounded and blank.

"Rude blueberry!" he whisper shouted to himself, making the boy glare at him as he flinched in surprise.

"You're still an intruder."

"I bought you muffins!"

"Intruder."

"Muffins."

"Intruder!"

"Muffins!"

They both huffed in such a childish way, with Hinata crossing his arms and the boy grumpily eating his muffins. The tangerine waited for the blueberry to finish his breakfast before getting to the question he has been wanting to ask.

"Why are they so surprise when you woke up?" Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head as he noticed him went silent, "Did you came back to life?"

"Yeah."

Hinata gasped, standing up quickly, causing the chair to fall down and create a loud thud on the ground, "Seriously?! Wow!" he shouted in awe, believing the words of the boy.

And the blueberry haired boy believes himself too.

"I'm still hungry. You got more?" he asked, taking a bite on the last muffin as he waved the empty tray in front of him.

"I'm broke. You already ate all of it!"

Another huff and grunt came out from him again. Hinata pulled his seat back up and sat beside the bed, pulling the chair closer. He noticed the paleness that this boy have and the noticeable dark circles under his eyes.

"You look awful." Hinata blurted out, making him cover his mouth as another warning glare was shot at him. The dark aura grew bigger behind him, making the poor boy flinch and sunk at his seat.

"Did you get any sleep?"

Silence.

He totally got ignored again this time, but Hinata was somehow determined to know why. He was curious and confused, especially since he got tangled in his situation as soon as he woke up. He didn't want to believe that he might be the reason why he's awake right now.

Is that supposed to be a good or bad thing?

"I don't want to." the blueberry haired boy mumbled, laying down on the soft sheet, "Sleeping is scary, but waking up is scarier."

"You're scary too."

He was about to get his pair of slippers once again, but Hinata quickly kicked them away. He laughed and got out of his seat so he won't be near his reach anymore. The boy groaned and glared intensely at him, muttering curse words and insults at him, which made the poor tangerine deflate.

"You're the scariest!" he teased.

"Shut up, dumbass intruder!"

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April 28

A knock came to his door, the boy tossed around in a swift motion, eyes staring directly towards the door. Before he can even speak or protest, the door flew open and he threw the pillow towards the direction immediately. However, the figure didn't fall down, instead the nurse was quite shock as she took a step back.

The blueberry haired boy quickly sat up with wide eyes, "S-sorry... I thought y-you're uh—" he awkwardly scratched his head, avoiding eye contact as the nurse just chuckled while picking up the pillow.

He sighed and lay down once again, perhaps he has gotten used to hearing a loud knock and bang coming from the door. He always expected him to just burst in with a paper bag full of muffins in his hand. It hasn't been that long since they met and he rarely comes these days. However, the fact that he's the first person he saw as soon as he woke up, somehow made him want to see the tangerine before falling asleep again.

"He's actually here today." the nurse smiled, doing her job as she walked towards the wires connected to him. He didn't really know what the nurses or doctors do, he just trust them since they know their job after all.

His eyes widened upon the mention of him, "Where? Why isn't he visiting?"

The nurse rose a brow at him and chuckled, "Oh he is. He's in his sister's room right now."

His mouth formed an 'o', not expecting for such a different turn of topic. He never mentioned having a sister hospitalized here, maybe they're not just that close. Of course, he wouldn't want any attachment to someone anymore. It's all for the muffins, just that. Getting involved with someone while being in a situation like this, it's hard to guarantee what will happen in the future.

Tossing his blanket away, retracting the wires from his skin and stood up after. The nurse's eyes widened, quickly rushing towards him as he just stood still, wiggling his toes and slowly moving his legs, he felt alive for the first time in awhile.

"Take me to him." he mumbled, eyes glued to the ground, "I want to see him."

The nurse hesitated for a moment, but he noticed the patient's determined eyes, either on walking or seeing him again. She assisted him outside, but he was perfectly fine, he can move freely and it doesn't seem like he's having a hard time controlling his limbs. The nurse smiled at the sight, although there's still no confirmation if he got better, she isn't seeing anything worse on him either.

"236." he mumbled the room number, taking a step forward towards the door and twisting the doorknob slowly. Just a gap, enough for him to see his back turned towards him, his figure sitting comfortably on the chair with a book on his hands. The little girl laughed at her brother, her eyes becoming droopy as seconds pass by and she released a yawn after 2 pages.

Hinata stopped from reading, looking towards his sister who already fell asleep. He smiled and giggled, closing the book and covering her up comfortably with the blanket. She snuggled her panda plushie, peacefully sleeping as Hinata placed the book on top of the cabinet.

"Hey intruder, where's m—" he got cut off when Hinata was startled, but was quick enough to shush him with his index finger placed in front of his lips. He panicked a bit and looked towards his sister, who was thankfully not bothered by the noise.

"Where's my muff—"

"Shush! Shush! Shoo shoo!" Hinata whisper shouted, waving him away with two hands as he backed away until he's finally outside. He closed the door behind him, slowly and carefully. As soon as he did, he whipped his head towards the boy with furrowed eyebrows.

"You're allowed to come out of your room?" Hinata asked and the boy tilted his head towards the nurse, who just waved at Hinata with a smile.

"Ah, good morning!" Hinata greeted happily, waving back at her as the blueberry boy stayed silent and awkward. The tangerine then averted his attention back at the boy, who avoided eye contact with anyone.

"Natsu left two muffins, you can eat it." Hinata grinned, giving him the tray as the boy's eyes shined in awe and hunger for the dessert. He didn't complain nor hesitated, he just dive right in and munched messily. The nurse chuckled nervously, assisting him back towards his room while Hinata trailed behind.

He just stayed in front of the door while the nurse watched the boy sat on his bed, still eating the muffins like that's the only thing he's craving for everyday's life. The nurse got back outside, sighing and picking up her clipboard. Hinata took this opportunity to ask what the boy's sickness is.

"U-uhm... I have a question." he nervously said as the nurse turned towards him with a rose brow, "Why are you all surprised when he woke up? Did he really came back to life?" he asked the last question in awe.

The nurse chuckled and walked towards his side, "You see, that boy is really unique. Although he may look perfectly fine and healthy to some people's eyes, to us we can see that he's also suffering the same as the other patients in here. He falls asleep at a random and unexpected, unpredictable time. And when he does, there's no confirmation on how long it'll be, whether it be hours, days or weeks. Even months and years can happen to him. Last year, he fell asleep and we all thought he'd never wake up. That's why it's such a miracle to see him awake two weeks ago."

Hinata's eyes widened and his mouth slightly hang open. He look so lost as he tried to apply his words to his hands, trying to get it out as he doesn't quite understand the situation, "Wait! Y-you mean, he— he fell asleep for a year?! How is that possible? I never knew there's such things!" he panicked, putting his hands on his hair.

"That's why he's unique. His situation is very hard and right now, we still don't know if he might fall asleep for a year again."

"A year? Again?" Hinata mumbled, glancing inside with just the gap of the door. He can see that he already got done on eating his muffins as he sat up on his bed, roaming his eyes around the room, until it landed on his.

The dark aura that surrounded him was no longer there, his eyes aren't that gloomy anymore. Although it was still blank and empty, he can see very well how his eyes bore into his, piercing his soul and trying to reach for his figure. However as he looked away, Hinata knew that he was hesitating, retracting his hand from reaching him.

Later that night, Hinata came home and rushed inside his room immediately. On his phone, he started searching for the said sickness. Surely a name of it will pop up. He waited for it to load, the search bar had _'What is it called when people suddenly fall asleep?'_ typed on it.

And words popped up on his screen.

_'Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder characterized by overwhelming daytime drowsiness and sudden attacks of sleep. People with narcolepsy often find it difficult to stay awake for long periods of time, regardless of the circumstances.'_

And due to curiosity, he searched again, _'Can Narcolepsy go away?'_

_'Narcolepsy is a lifelong problem, but it does not usually worsen as the person ages. Symptoms can partially improve over time, but they will never disappear completely. The most typical symptoms are excessive daytime sleepiness, cataplexy, sleep paralysis, and hallucinations.'_

Out of nervousness, Hinata started biting his nails. It seems so serious, but it's not that deadly right? Although there's no cure for it, he'll improve as years or months pass by. He'll wake up, no matter how long, Hinata was convincing himself by it. But then again, why is he so concerned for this boy he just accidentally met? It's not like they got attached to each other, he was just genuinely curious.

"It couldn't be that worse." Hinata mumbled, shutting his phone off and throwing it at the end of the bed. He lay down, arms spread and eyes staring at the ceiling. Despite them not being that close, or maybe not even close to being acquaintance, a person who's sick should still be taken care of.

He sat up and punched the air with both of his fists, "Alright! I'll buy more muffins for Natsu and muffin boy this time!"

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

April 29

"Aren't you getting tired?"

Hinata glanced at him, humming a tune of a song while he placed the paper bag on top of the cabinet. He took out the familiar tray of muffins while raising a brow at the boy, "Of what? Of you?"

He groaned and avoided eye contact, "Of visiting, you idiot."

Hinata then grinned and laughed, "Nope! This is like my second home." but then he stopped and a light bulb appeared on top of his head, "Ah, school comes third!"

The boy scoffed at such ridiculous saying. Although he probably stayed here longer than this tangerine human being, he never really, not even once, considered it as home. To him, it'll either be the last place he'll take step on or where his life gets taken away. Cold, empty, deaths, that's just what filled this place, at least to him. Taking a step out of his room is very rare, as the hallway was always filled by patients being taken to the emergency room or a lifeless body covered up.

"Here, eat! I bought more of it this time." Hinata pushed the tray of muffins towards him, startling him a bit as he stared at his bright and hopeful eyes.

Why is someone like him here?

"Do you always do this?" he needs to find something, a reason, to avoid this. He doesn't want it, he doesn't need it. That's what he thinks, the type of future he pictured in his mind is him sleeping for the rest of his life and never waking up. No one by his side, just the machine supporting him. To avoid people, to have no attachments or connection, to not get involved with love itself, that's what he thinks for the best.

"For Natsu only, but then you got added in the list." Hinata beamed, placing the tray on his lap as the boy gloomily stared at it. He hesitated, his hands are aching to reach out, but he stopped himself.

"You don't know me." he blurted out, "We're strangers to each other. You're no one to me."

Silence. Hinata pursed his lips, staring blankly at him, but then he turned away and got rid of the paper bag. He smiled and laughed, "Don't say that to the muffins! They're very sensitive, and you're the one who always look for them anyways."

"I'm talking to you, dumbass!"

Hinata just laughed again and shrugged it off, "I brought something other than muffins." he started shuffling in his bag, tossing aside other things as he brought out a plastic. There was something in it, however the boy didn't pay attention and instead munched the first muffin.

"Wait, close your eyes!" Hinata giggled, hiding the plastic behind him while the boy groaned and did what he was told.

"This is silly." he mumbled and Hinata ignored this as he reached for both of his hands. A pair of small ones wrapping the large ones, both of them can already tell the difference. However, the boy was somehow feeling his heart pounding. It's been so long since someone touched him like this, soft and comforting. All he remember back then is rough hands and needles interacting with his skin.

"Open your eyes." and so he did, the lightness of the thing made him think that it was nothing, but the softness was enough to make him slowly open his eyes, "Ta-da!" Hinata beamed.

"Is this..." he couldn't finish his words as he was in awe.

"Cherry blossom!" Hinata smiled as the boy held each petals, slowly and carefully, "I figured you haven't gone out for a long time and you missed all the seasons last year. The nurse told me you slept for a year. I searched up your condition and it's called... uhm— uh, I forgot."

"All I remember is that it ends with _'epsy'_." the boy said casually, still in the middle of admiring the flowers as he let them slide down his hands.

Hinata, who was searching on his phone again, finally saw the name. He rushed towards the boy and almost shove the phone right at his face, "It's Narcolepsy. You know that, right?"

The blueberry haired boy shrugged, "I sleep long, that's all. I don't know much and I don't have to. The doctors will take care of me, they know my sickness better than I do."

Hinata slowly lowered down the phone, until it's on his side already. The mood suddenly dropped and even Hinata can sense the hopelessness in his voice, "You should still take care of yourself too. How are the doctors going to treat you if you, yourself, is already giving up?"

"What's there to take care of? I won't be able to stop myself from falling asleep, there's nothing that you can do. They'll just have to wait again, do checkups, get process, and the cycle will repeat. That's how my life is, in just a blink of an eye, everything will change for me. Wouldn't it be better to just give up? So the doctors and nurses won't have to go through tough situations for me anymore."

"And I, myself, could finally rest."

Hinata bit his bottom lip in hesitation, somehow his words are getting him worked up. It triggered something inside of him, he remember how his sister fought for her life, how she suffered and how they have to watch her get taken care by the doctors. He watched the hopeful eyes she have and not even once did she say that she was tired nor she wants to give up.

"It's not that worse." he mumbled as the boy glanced at him, "Your sickness, it's not that bad."

"What?" he furrowed his eyebrows at the short tangerine.

"I searched it up, if you just take care of yourself, if you stop the causes of why you're falling asleep, then you'll get better. There are a lot of ways and you're choosing the one that your body dreads to. If they wanted to give up on you, they would've done it a year ago! But you're the one giving up on yourself, so of course it'll get worse!"

Hinata took a deep breath after, panting with wide eyes at the words he just blurted out. He looked towards the boy who had slight wide eyes, staring right back at him. But he soon looked away, clenching the flowers on his hand.

"You don't know me." he mumbled, "You don't have to pity or care about me."

"Who cares if I don't know you?" Hinata huffed, stomping his way towards the curtains blocking the light from outside, he grabbed the end of it, "All I know, is that everyone who's brought here has one goal."

And he pulled it away as the sunlight entered the boy's room, making him squint his eyes and block it with his hands, "To survive." he smiled at him, genuinely.

The boy was dumbfounded for a moment, but he soon tossed the blanket away, holding the flowers gently this time. Slowly approaching the window and the human tangerine, he felt his eyes squinting at the bright light coming from outside. He observed the world for the first time in awhile. The clouds formed a ridiculous, yet interesting shape. The buildings far away stood big and tall and he can see the cherry blossom trees shedding pink petals to the world.

"You're one of them, muffin boy." Hinata tried to suppress his laugh at the nickname, "You have to survive and live."

And at that moment, Hinata for the first time, saw something bright and glistening in his eyes.

"Kageyama."

"Huh?"

"It's Kageyama Tobio."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

May 14

"Bakayama! Bakayama! Your bestfriend is here to brighten your day!"

Hinata didn't have to knock this time as he barged inside the room, but he made sure that Kageyama was already awake. In which he is, he was letting the cherry blossoms flew away and be swept by the wind outside. He watched in awe at how gentle and high it was, the softness of it was visible and the color combined itself with the sky.

In a swift motion, he turned around with a dark aura coming back and surrounding him once again, "Hinata boke! Don't be so loud early in the morning!" he shouted at him, startling Hinata as the poor tangerine backed away and leaned on the door for support.

"You're one to talk!" he shouted back and the fight began with them throwing punches to each other and at the same time dodging it.

"You two," the nurse, Ms. Park, glared at both of them with only her red dark eye glaring at them at the small gap of the door, "keep it low."

They both froze and stood still, Hinata randomly saluting while Kageyama glared at him, obviously blaming the tangerine. After the nurse has finally walked away, they were about to fight again, but Hinata quickly brought out something. A plastic bag full of snacks and boxes of milk. Easily convinced, Kageyama went with the flow only for the milk.

"First, let's go out." Hinata beamed, exclaiming and skipping towards the door, leaving Kageyama flustered at the wrong choice of words.

"Go out?"

Hinata turned around to face him, "Yeah, to the rooftop!"

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, "I'm not allowed to go anywhere far from my room, dumbass." he sighed, "Unless I have a nurse to accompany me."

Hinata beamed and a light bulb appeared on top of his head, "Which is why—" on the other hand is a paper bag as he took out clothes, "I got this!" a nurse outfit.

"Did you bought that too?" Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows once again and Hinata scoffed at him.

"Bakayama, I stole it from here." he grinned and he noticed that Kageyama was about to burst in shouts and scolds once again, which is why he rushed to him and covered his mouth, shushing him. Kageyama quickly pushed and slapped his hand away.

"You'll get caught!" he hissed at him while Hinata just ignored and hummed a tune towards the bathroom, getting ready to change.

"Nah nah, I won't." he said before disappearing into the bathroom.

Kageyama let out a frustrated huff, "If not an intruder, you're a kidnapper."

"I heard that!" Hinata exclaimed.

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Arriving at the top with Hinata's disguise, they were able to get out of the suspicious looks coming from the nurses and doctors. If it wasn't for the beanie he wore, someone could've recognize him already as they were used to seeing his bright orange colored hair.

"Are you sure you got it all in control? If not, I'm abandoning and blaming you." Kageyama groaned, sitting down on the floor and watching the clouds move. He hasn't been this close to the clouds and the wind that is calmly kissing their exposed skin has felt like a first to him.

"Of course." Hinata huffed, taking off his beanie and mask, "You never trust me."

"Kidnapper." Kageyama mumbled, reaching for a box of milk as he punched the straw on it.

"Hinata! It's Hinata Shoyo!"

Taking a sip from the milk and staring at the sky, he mocked him again, "It's the same."

After a few silence and the sound of munching biscuits and sipping drinks, Kageyama spoke out of curiosity, but there was hesitation lingering in his tone, "How's your sister?"

Hinata stopped on eating, making Kageyama nervous and guilty, but then a smile was plastered on his face, "She's doing great. She has taken the antibiotics prescribe by her doctor and sooner they'll be doing an x-ray scan on her. They told us to limit our contact with her, since the chance of her getting bacteria is risky. We can only visit her twice a week and we'll be wearing a mask and gloves for her safety."

"To be honest, Natsu is much stronger and hopeful than you." Hinata grinned.

Kageyama looked away, slightly smiling at that. _Of course she's strong, she's your sister,_ he thought to himself.

"How about you? How are you?" Hinata asked him, snapping him out of his thoughts and catching his attention.

"You visit me almost everyday. You should know how I am." Kageyama jokingly said, taking a sip from the box of milk again.

Hinata hummed as a reply, "But I'm not the one who knows if you're willing to survive and live again. I wouldn't be the one to know if you're giving up more or trying to be hopeful."

"It's you who knows that, Kageyama."

The blueberry haired boy didn't reply and instead just sipped his drink. The emptiness of the box was heard soon as he reached out to grab another one again. Hinata frowned at that because he only had one box and here he is getting his third box.

"What's your favorite season?" Hinata asked, taking a bite on the biscuit.

"Winter." Kageyama mumbled, still staring at the sky and avoiding eye contact after his statements lately.

Hinata hummed and scratched his cheek, "Ah! Is it because you like building a snowman? Me too, but I like snowball fight more!" he beamed and grinned, but the boy didn't smile at that, not even a slight one.

"It's the last season I had with my grandpa."

"Oh," Hinata bit his bottom lip in guilt and regret, he shouldn't have asked that, "I'm sorry— I— I didn't mean to brought it up..."

After a few minutes of silence, a sigh escape his trembling lips, "2 years ago, December 22, I celebrated my birthday with him. A day after that, he passed away while I was stuck in this hospital. Last year, February 2, that's when I was attacked by sleep."

"And... this year's April, you woke up." Hinata mumbled with furrowed eyebrows, concerned and scared for the boy sitting right beside him. At that moment, Hinata knew the reason why he probably wanted to give up and just rest... forever.

But even with the thought crossing his mind, he was already determined to change that ever since he knew about his sickness.

"I don't even know the reason why I still woke up. What's the point? It'll just repeat, a never ending cycle of my life." he scoffed, setting the box of milk down, "It's so tiring, I wish I never woke up."

"Well you did." Hinata said in a serious tone of voice, "Whether you like it or not, there's a reason why you woke up, Bakayama. And you'll have to find that because that's your second chance in life."

Kageyama frowned and looked away from him, "Yeah sure. That's if I won't fall asleep while finding it."

Hinata let out a huff and stood up, startling the blueberry haired boy as the tangerine determinedly put his hands on his hips before pointing at him.

"Then I'll make you stay awake! I'll do anything so you won't fall asleep for a year again." he smiled widely, "As long as I'm here, I'll make sure you're wide awake."

Kageyama was dumbfounded and surprised for a moment. He scoffed and turned away from him, causing the boy to whine and shout at him. A relieved sigh escape from him as he looked up at the sky once again.

"Do that. Maybe... just maybe I'll be able to find the reason to live again."

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Coming from the rooftop and walking their way back to Kageyama's room was supposed to be just an easy task for Hinata. With the beanie and mask preventing the doctors and nurses from recognizing him, he almost thought that he really had the whole situation under control.

But then a clearing of throat echoed in the hallway, catching both of their attention as they froze, "I believe someone who's supposed to be in his room is kidnapped by his very own longtime visitor."

Kageyama muttered a curse while Hinata pulled his mask higher. Ms. Park started tapping her foot on the ground with crossed arms as she glared at the two who had their backs turn towards her, "I wonder who those two are."

"I thought you have everything under control!" Kageyama hissed at him while Hinata pulled down his beanie as he grinned.

"I do, I have it all in control right now at this very moment."

Kageyama rose a brow at him, but before he can even react nor ask again, Hinata has already grabbed his wrist and dragged him away.

"Run!"

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May 22

_"Kageyama has been having hallucinations these past few days. Although it's not that worse, we want to be sure that it won't affect his condition even more. Hallucinations is one of the symptom of Narcolepsy, however in Kageyama's state, it has been so long since he has gotten one again. He has been locking himself in his room after that. We're afraid that this situation of his will cause a trigger and he might get attacked by another sleep again."_

After hearing those exact words from Ms. Park, Hinata had never ran so fast in his entire life. Biking furiously on his way towards the hospital and running down the hallway as soon as he got inside. For the first time, they never got that same old bright greeting from the sunshine. Just him ignoring and passing by them in nervousness and panic.

As he got in front of the door he always just barged into, he never thought the day will come when he has to knock for Kageyama to let him in again. He panted and tried catching his breath while knocking multiple times on the door. Ms. Park and the doctor has left after his arrival, figuring that the patient wouldn't be pleased to see their presence.

"Kageyama, it's me." Hinata said while in the middle of catching his breath, "I'm here now, please open the door."

Silence. No response. No sound of him being present nor awake. And Hinata was hoping that it's not what he think it is. He wants this door to open, for that same old Kageyama to scold and shout at him again. He doesn't care if he has to buy him more muffins and boxes of milk. He doesn't care if he has to disguise himself as a nurse again just for them to run to the rooftop.

He promised, as long as he's here, Kageyama will stay awake.

"I know you're there. I know you're awake." his voice cracked, "Please, I know you're still awake. I promised you that, Kageyama."

He cried out, the first broken sound that they heard from Hinata, "I'm begging you, don't go away for another year again."

There was a few more knocks, more tears being shed and the multiple time they've heard Hinata's broken voice. He slid down the door, still waiting for a sign of his presence, still hoping for the door to open. Hinata for the first time in awhile, felt so blank and empty, as if his advices was never applied to himself either. Hugging his knees while leaning on the door, he buried his face on his arms, sighing and and pressing his ear on the surface of the door.

"Kageyama..." he mumbled, knocking and trying once again. With no response coming, he sighed and leaned on the door, but he didn't expect himself to land on the ground with a thud.

He looked up to see the familiar face he dread to meet once again. But the expression that was visible on him was so broken, so empty and lost that it made Hinata want to change all of that in a matter of seconds. In a swift motion, he got up and rushed towards the figure, enveloping him in a tight hug.

"You scared me." Hinata mumbled, burying his face on his hospital gown, wanting to let out the tears so bad, but he didn't want to leave any stain of his pain.

"I'm... I—" Kageyama sighed, returning his hug as he wrapped his arms around the body of the short one, "I'm scared myself."

As the door closes, it's only their presence and their tears enveloping each other. Just two broken teenagers who hopes for nothing but to survive the different kind of pain they're feeling. One who wants to drown in the deepest part of the ocean, no longer hoping for anyone to save him. And one who happens to reach out for his hand and pull him up the surface.

"I thought I lost you already." Hinata mumbled while Kageyama was laying down on his bed, breathing and staring at the ceiling with gloomy eyes.

Kageyama laughed weakly, "You're the one who got banned at visiting for a week."

"Just a week. Unlike you, a year or more." Hinata buried his face on the sheet of the bed, still not over at the fear that's wrapping his entire body.

"I saw my grandpa." Kageyama blurted out, making Hinata lift his head up immediately, "As soon as I woke up, I saw him. He was there, right beside me. At that moment, I saw snow outside. It was almost like I'm back at that day 2 years ago. Almost like... my grandpa was still alive."

Hinata listened, observing his face, how his lips trembled, how shaky his breath is. He didn't know when or how, but he just reached for his hand and held it tightly in comfort. As tears rolled down his face, the blank expression contrast the pain in his eyes.

"He was alive. I saw him."

Both hands trembling, yet holding onto each other, Hinata bit his bottom lip as he suppress his tears, "You'll be okay."

"I saw him, I swear I did." Kageyama started sobbing uncontrollably, "My grandpa is alive— I know he is."

"I'm here, don't worry. You're gonna be alright." Hinata convinced him and himself also, "I'm sorry, I won't leave your side anymore."

"He's here." Kageyama cried out even more, covering his eyes with his arm as he trembled in Hinata's touch.

"Kageyama..." Hinata mumbled, voice breaking as he buried his face on the sheet while holding tightly on the boy's hands.

After more tears, more comfort, more touch of each others warmth. In the end, Kageyama has finally found the calmness lingering inside him at that moment. Hinata has gathered courage to bring back that same bright smile of his again.

"Hey, dumbass." Kageyama groaned, calling out weakly with his low voice.

"You're back." the human tangerine chuckled.

The boy smiled, still holding each others hands, as if letting go would be the end of the world for them, "My eyes are giving up..." Kageyama mumbled in a quiet voice, barely a whisper, barely a sound.

Hinata looked at him gloomily, but he managed to paint a small smile on his face, "Rest."

"I'm scared." he admitted, his hand losing its grip on Hinata's hand, "I don't want you to wait."

"I can wait, no matter how long. As long as you'll wake up after." Hinata smiled weakly, holding his hand tighter as he's almost slipping away from his touch.

"Sing me a song." Kageyama said, "So I can sleep."

Hinata isn't good at singing, but he knows he's not that bad either. Anyone can sing, depends on how much they want to, or how many emotions they're trying to release. He took a deep breath and glanced at the tired figure in front of him.

And sang the first lyric of the song.

 _"Your eyes are always close."_ Hinata sang as he saw Kageyama's eyes trying to stay open, _"Bare the pain, you tried to slip away."_

Kageyama has heard a lot of great singers in his life. Although Hinata wouldn't be one of them, to him his voice was gentle and soft enough to rock him in a cradle as he sleeps. Despite his voice cracking a bit, shaking and coming out as a whisper, he finds everything about that so beautiful, so human. Somehow when you started seeing the person's real self is when you also started accepting their flaws.

And Kageyama has accepted Hinata in his life already.

_"Slowly I bloomed like a rose. Hoping to see you another day. How long will you be able to stay?"_

His grip started loosening, but Hinata held on tightly to him more, _"Hope has never found its path. So you filled your life with wrath."_

But then again, at some point, one has to let go.

_"But darling, I'll be the first one you'll see. As soon as you open your eyes. Please stay longer with me. Don't just deceive me with your lies."_

Kageyama's eyes are already closing.

_"Take a picture of us, of the memories we make."_

And Hinata has finally let go of his hand. He released a shaky breath and let a single tear rolled down his face.

_"And tell me right now that you'll stay awake."_

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June 10

"Bakayama! Bakayama! Your favorite person is here to brighten your day!"

Hinata shouted brightly, the nurses and doctors smiling at his usual mood and happiness that came back. Pushing the door open and barging inside the room quickly, he saw the figure of the boy sitting up with a phone on his hand. Kageyama, who was used to his loudness and interruption, still scowled and glared at him.

"Hinata boke! I lost the game because of you!" Kageyama complained, about to throw the phone at him, but Hinata pushed it away and peeked at the game he was playing.

"Candy crush?" Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, but then his eyes widened in realization, "Oh! The game I suggested to you."

"Yeah, you told me your mom and those old ladies in your neighborhood often play this game." Kageyama mumbled, hiding away his pout and flustered face, "I thought it was boring— but uh... I guess it's kinda f-f-fun?"

He stuttered over that one word, as if it was so hard for him to speak it.

Hinata laughed at his face and words, mocking and teasing him after, causing Kageyama's face to heat up in embarrassment even more, "Shut up, dumbass intruder and kidnapper!"

The human tangerine frowned and mocked him, "Shut up, idiot muffin and milk boy!"

And just like the good old days, they started throwing punches at each other, but managed to kept on dodging it at the same time. Hinata placed his hands in front to stop him and instead brought out a plastic bag, waving it in front of him.

"Muffins? Milk?" Kageyama's eyes quickly glistened in excitement, but his mood dropped when Hinata shook his head.

"Its popsicles!" Hinata beamed while Kageyama just frowned and groaned, somehow disappointed at not getting his favorite dessert and drink.

"New season, new foods."

"What season is it?" Kageyama rose a brow at him while Hinata furrowed his eyebrows at his question.

"Summer. Look outside, it's like being in an oven!" Hinata whined while shuffling inside the plastic bag, picking out a certain flavor of the popsicle that he saved for himself.

"Summer?" Kageyama tilted his head in confusion, "Ohh, I thought it was still spring..."

Hinata was silent and confused for a moment, although he noticed that Kageyama took this normally, he didn't fought with his thoughts anymore. In which he might regret sooner. He just shrugged it off and smiled again, handing the plastic bag to the boy.

"I heard the nurses are taking some of the patients outside so they'll get to have a bit of sunlight in their lives." Hinata beamed, his eyes glistening when he look towards Kageyama who didn't seem interested at it as he just nodded his head.

"You said it's summer and outside is like being in an oven. I don't like that. I prefer it if it's snowing instead." Kageyama blurted out, glancing at the plastic bag and seeing some popsicle with the letter 'H' written on it.

"You basically lived and slept in an igloo." Hinata huffed, "Hospital rooms are always cold and I've never seen you take a step outside. Except that day when we escaped to the rooftop."

"Once is enough for me." Kageyama shrugged and frowned at the flavors left with no letter, obviously disagreeing at the popsicles left for him.

"Twice is much better." Hinata grinned, "Plus the rooftop is still part of the hospital. You need to take a step outside!"

Kageyama let out a huff, walking towards the door of his room as Hinata's eyes brightened at the sight. He twisted the doorknob and the door flew open, he placed his foot on the hallway and closed the door after.

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows as his smile dropped, "What was that?"

"I took a step outside. Done." Kageyama said, not sarcastically, just him being normal and himself.

Hinata grabbed a fist of his hair and pulled it down, stomping like a mad kid, "Outside the hospital!"

Kageyama sighed, giving him a scowl with a dark aura surrounding him behind. The poor human tangerine backed away and flinched at the sight, quickly grabbing the pillow as a shield, "Stay back!"

"Why didn't you get me a blueberry popsicle?" Kageyama groaned and Hinata furrowed his eyebrows at that.

"W-wait, there's such thing as that?" he lowered the pillow down and that's when Kageyama striked as he smacked him down with his slipper.

"Kageyama!" Hinata called out as he rolled away from him, "I brought something!"

"Flowers?" Kageyama asked, somehow blushing at the thought of getting a different flower this time, but his mood dropped again when Hinata shook his head. He was about to throw his other pair of slipper at him, however he suddenly tossed something at the air.

And caught it perfectly after, "Let's play volleyball. I'll teach you." Hinata grinned at him.

Kageyama's eyes widened again, glistening in excitement and surprise, "Volleyball? You play volleyball too?"

"Yeah! You too?" Hinata beamed when Kageyama furiously and excitedly nodded his head, making the two of them go bright and enthusiastic.

"Then I'll beat you." Hinata said seriously and determinedly while Kageyama turned serious also, the dark aura coming back behind him as Hinata act like he was no longer affected by it.

"That's if you can." Kageyama challenged him with those eyes and weirdly looking smirk that sent shivers down Hinata's spine. The poor tangerine was a bit taken aback, but he quickly regained his determination and courage.

"Bring it on!" he pushed the ball towards his chest, "To the garden then." they glared at each other.

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"Kageyama! I'll beat you!"

Hinata shouted as Kageyama did the same while they raced each other towards the garden. Due to the hot weather, sweats quickly formed on their forehead, rolling down the side of their face as they continued shouting.

However, Kageyama's energy has suddenly drained, making him stop on his track and pant heavily. He rested his hands on his knees while Hinata continued running, only then did he notice the no longer challenging voice and footsteps of Kageyama. He turned around and rushed towards him in worry at his suddenly weak figure.

"Hey you must have really tire yourself out." Hinata said with furrowed eyebrows and a worried expression on his face, "Should w-we go back?"

"No." he responded immediately, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Hinata hesitated to follow him as he stood straight, fixing his posture as he slowly walked away from him, "We can just play tomorrow."

"No, I want to play today." Kageyama insisted, turning around with a glare being thrown at the short boy. However, instead of getting startled as usual, Hinata grew even more worried and concerned as he held the ball on his hands.

"Kageyama," he called out softly, which somehow irritated the blueberry haired boy, "you do know that the last time you fell asleep, it took a week before you woke up."

He remained silent, Hinata taking the opportunity to continue, "It might not be that long compared to a year of sleeping, but it's still risky. I just— I mean, I'm telling you this for your own sake too." his voice trailed off at the end.

"I told you, I'm fine." Kageyama said seriously, walking away as Hinata followed behind him, eyes glued to the ground with the ball almost slipping from his hands, "Did we went outside to play volleyball or for you to lecture me?"

"I'm not—" he got cut off when Kageyama suddenly snatched the ball from him, leaving him dumbfounded. Hinata released a tired and worried sigh, catching up to his figure and walking by his side. He glanced to see Kageyama's facial expression, but it seems normal, a bit blank.

"Don't miss me too much." Kageyama suddenly blurted out, making Hinata flustered as he malfunctioned.

"Miss you?! What?" he nervously and awkwardly laughed, "Bold assumption!"

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows at him, "Do you even know what _'bold assumption'_ means?"

"I don't know! Do you?" Hinata shot back, as that made him taken aback. Kageyama looked away with a pout and flustered face, he twirled the ball on his hand.

"Just admit it." Hinata crossed his arms, "You missed me when I got banned last month."

"Okay, bold assumption!" Kageyama mocked him which irritated the human tangerine as he hissed at the tall boy, about to throw a punch or maybe kick his kneecaps instead.

"You missed me!" Hinata shouted.

"Well you'll miss me more!" Kageyama shouted back.

"Missed me!"

"No me!"

"Me!"

"M—"

"Oh shut it! We all know you two will miss each other!" an old granny who got fed up from watching and hearing their argument, decided to interrupt as she stood still with her cane being shaken.

They both froze and the other visitors and patients who heard the entire thing, laughed. This made the two hid their red face in embarrassment as the granny brought her cane down.

"Ow, ow, my back." she said and the nurse got back to assisting her towards the bench.

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Kageyama has suffered more than anyone have thought. Although his paleness and thin body may look like a normal thing to other people, those who have known and seen him back then knows very well that it's no longer the same Kageyama they first saw.

Continuous checkups, needles piercing his skin, the closing and opening of his eyes changing everything in his life in a matter of second. There was no denying that Kageyama has experienced a lot of nightmares also.

And one of them just so happens to be related at volleyball.

The sound of cheering slowly fading away, every corner of the court suddenly being filled by darkness. Kageyama took a step forward in swift motion, his eyes glistening as the ball landed perfectly on his fingertips. Jumping and tossing the ball onto the air, he followed the direction it went to once he landed down.

But a horrible sight greeted him instead. The ball landed with a thud and no one was there behind. No one to aim at his tosses.

"I'm right here!"

His eyes widened, whipping his head on another direction as a bright orange color filled his sight.

"Kageyama toss to me!"

This time with no hesitation, he tossed the ball back at the air again. And this time, he clearly saw it with his two eyes. Someone who has finally appeared behind his back, someone who aimed perfectly at his toss.

Hinata cheered and rushed towards him, bringing his hands up in the air while Kageyama stared at him in confusion, "High five!" the short boy beamed.

"H-high five?" Kageyama brought his hands up reluctantly while Hinata slapped it cheerfully. The boy then rushed towards the popsicles, humming a happy tune and getting the last two of it. Meanwhile, Kageyama stared at his bright red hand and he couldn't stop the smile forming on his face.

"You look creepy." Hinata blurted out while handing him his popsicle as he licked his own popsicle.

"Shut up, dumbass." Kageyama glared at him, snatching the popsicle and walking off to the bench. Hinata trailed behind in a jolly mood. They both sat on the bench and happily ate their cold refreshment.

"Is setter really your position?" Hinata asked, glancing at the boy who nodded his head as a response.

"What about you?" Kageyama asked, giving him a glance and looking away immediately.

Hinata grinned, "Right now, I'm a middle blocker!" he copied the way of blocking, but Kageyama couldn't help but snicker at the sight, "Hey don't laugh! I'll be an ace soon, just watch." he groaned at him.

"You're lucky, you can play." Kageyama blurted out, making Hinata looked at him in guilt, "The last time I played on court was..."

He sighed, "I can't even remember."

"All I know is that I didn't got a chance to get into Shiratorizawa." he mumbled before glancing at the short boy who had his eyes glued to the ground, "What school are you in?"

"Karasuno." Hinata smiled, covering the guilt behind his known mask of happiness.

"Do me a favor and beat Shiratorizawa."

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows at him, but the boy just stared at the sky that's out of their reach, "Why? I thought you like that school."

Kageyama then turned his head towards him, his eyes glistening, something that Hinata missed seeing since it was usually filled with emptiness and darkness. It made his stomach twist because of an unknown emotion, like it was filled with butterflies later on.

"Simply because I want you to win." Kageyama said so casually, "Not just for nationals, but for me."

Hinata was speechless for a moment, he was trying to take in and process the words he just heard. He was malfunctioning also, which did not help at all. He blinked twice and avoided eye contact.

"Then do me a favor too." Hinata mumbled, hiding the blush that crept on his cheeks, "Help us win."

Kageyama looked away, oh how badly he wants to laugh at Hinata's poor hiding skill, "That's if I'm still awake."

"Then stay awake."

Kageyama's eyes widened, taken aback at the serious tone of voice coming from such a bright person like him. However, the genuine and sincere smile painted on his face contrast the tone of his voice.

"Stay awake for me, Kageyama."

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June 15

Around 9'o'clock in the morning, Hinata has biked his way towards the muffin shop he usually buy at. It took at least 8 minutes to get there with his bike. Parking around the corner and pushing the door open as the bell above him rang. He skipped towards the line that was quite long today.

He peeked and saw that 5 people was ahead of him, causing him to sigh and do nothing, but to wait. In front of him was two tall boys dressed in casual clothes. However, he somehow recognized them despite their backs turn to him. He slowly peeked and flinched when the line moved, he went back behind immediately.

"Ohh, Iwa-chan look what I found."

Hinata's ear perk at the name, his eyes widening as his thoughts are right about who these two in front of him are.

"Is that... Kageyama?" Iwaizumi asked, hesitating to say the name or perhaps because he doesn't remember him anymore.

"Yeah, I took a picture with him when he was bowing to me during Junior High." Oikawa laughed, making Iwaizumi smack the back of his head for being too loud, "And yet he didn't even got mad." he huffed.

"Didn't he disappear during his 2nd year in Junior High?" Iwaizumi asked, making Oikawa hummed as a reply.

"Randomly. After getting hit by the ball at the match, he was taken to the clinic, but he never came back after that." Oikawa shrugged, making Iwaizumi glanced at him to see his expression, in which it was just blank as Oikawa stared at the picture.

"What do you think happened?" Iwaizumi asked hesitantly, "Isn't it weird? After that, the teachers said that he dropped out of school."

Oikawa sighed and shoved his phone back in his pocket, "Rumors have gone around back then. They said he was too embarrassed to come back to school after failing the match. Or maybe he got a bad head injury that will take too long to heal. "

"If it's the head injury, dropping out of school still doesn't seem like an option. He can still catch up after." Iwaizumi blurted out, making Oikawa turn his head at him.

"Who knows." Oikawa let out a huff, "Why are we so worked up about him, Iwa-chan?" he whined, making Iwaizumi glare and ignore him like the usual.

"I was almost forgetting about him. That picture really just have to ruin the mood." Oikawa let out a frustrated sigh as Hinata listened carefully to their entire conversation. Call it eavesdropping or whatever, but this Oikawa person just talk so damn loud.

"Kageyama isn't embarrassed." Hinata blurted out, causing the two to avert their attention on him. Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows at first, but then recognize him a second later.

"Oh, chibi-chan?"

"He doesn't have a head injury also." the two looked at each other in confusion at what he was blurting out, but Iwaizumi decided to just go along with it.

"Then... what happened to him?" he asked hesitantly while Oikawa didn't want to pay any attention to the topic.

"He's scared for his life." Hinata mumbled, the seriousness in his eyes and facial expression caught them off guard, "He has no choice but to see everything in his life change in a matter of second."

This caused the two to go silent, yet still confused. They startled a bit when Hinata bowed at them, biting his bottom lip in irritation and pleading, "Please stop spreading wrong information about him."

The line moved and the two didn't got a chance to speak to him again since he already left the shop. Hinata answered the call, getting a bit nervous since the last time she called, it didn't end well for him. And once again, the same panic tone in her voice was heard, causing Hinata's heartbeat to pound faster.

"Shoyo, please come to the hospital immediately." Ms. Park told him as he already got in his bike.

"Ms. Park, what's wrong? Is it about Kageyama or Natsu?" Hinata panicked, getting ready to pedal as soon as he ends the call.

"Something happened to your sister."

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Kageyama is known to sometimes be an impatient person. However, as he get to know that people around him wait for weeks, months, years, only for him to wake up makes him think that his impatient attitude over small things is very pathetic. As he sat up on his bed and waited for that certain tangerine to brighten up his day, multiple shouts from outside caught his attention instead.

Although he doesn't want to get involved, because seeing the outside, the hallway filled by patients or a dead body makes him traumatized and scared. But as soon as he heard that certain name, he tossed his blanket away and rushed towards the door immediately.

As the door flew open and the hallway was filled with nurses and doctors running, only a few people entered the certain room. He quickly spotted Ms. Park who was running and was about to pass by him. He grabbed her arm and tugged on her uniform, catching her attention as she pushed him gently back inside.

"Kageyama please, just stay inside." she begged and was about to close the door, but Kageyama protested.

"What's wrong with Natsu?" he asked, making the nurse hesitant as she was about to open her mouth, but loud footsteps and a voice calling out for his sister's name appeared. Ms. Park went out of the hallway and followed the orange haired boy.

Kageyama who was insisted to stay inside, still took a step on the hallway. Standing on his doorway, he can see Hinata's panicking figure with a scared and worried expression on his face. He walked towards them, ignoring the other people who passed by him as all that matters to him is the two people in this hospital.

"H-hey—"

"Kageyama," Ms. Park cut him off, grabbing both his arm and releasing a tired sigh, "please go back to your room. I promise I'll tell you about this later."

"No—"

His eyes widened when he saw tears streaming down Hinata's face as he bit his nails. Pacing back and forth, he couldn't help but just sob uncontrollably. Sooner, footsteps came and a woman's figure appeared, rushing towards Hinata as he cried and hugged her tightly.

"Mom." he cried out.

"Kageyama." Ms. Park called out to him with pleading eyes and he slowly looked down, eyes glued to the ground. With the heavy feelings buried inside him, he nodded his head and walked reluctantly back to his room.

Closing the door and once again being traumatized by the sight he saw, he took a deep breath and released a shaky one. He sat on his bed, fiddling his fingers out of nervousness as he once again grew impatient. He can't just sit here and wait while he's out there crying as his sister is suffering.

He can't stand being like this. He wants to do something. He wants to help.

Almost 30 minutes later, the door burst open and Kageyama was expecting the same old bright Hinata to come and visit him. However, the nurse entered instead, gesturing for him to sit back on his bed again. Releasing a disappointed sigh, his eyes barely open as he didn't want to see such a terrible sight outside anymore.

"How are you feeling?" Ms. Park asked, setting down her clipboard as Kageyama's stoic face greeted her.

"I'm not the one who's sick." he mumbled, "What happened?"

The nurse sighed, knowing that if she doesn't tell him, he'll burst into madness and get stressed after. Scared and worried that he might get attacked by sleep because of these sudden emotions, she decided to tell him at least an information at what's happening.

"Severe pneumonia. That's what Natsu's condition is right now. Perhaps we were too careless to think that the antibiotics will completely heal her, however she might have gotten bacterias or a virus from the hospital."

Kageyama was speechless after hearing this, but he managed to ask with trembling lips, "But... she'll be okay, right? There's still a treatment for that, for sure this time it won't get worse anymore?"

Ms. Park could only give him a half smile, before letting out a tired sigh, "We're doing everything we can. For now, please rest."

"No," Kageyama shook his head and stood up, "I want to see him."

"Kage—"

"I'm not asking for your permission, Ms. Park." Kageyama blurted out, releasing a shaky breath after as the nurse stayed silent after that. With trembling lips and hands, he turned around and was about to apologize.

"Come along." she smiled at him and patted his arm, walking towards the door as she opened it. He trailed behind her, walking straight where the doctor just got out of the room. A gap from the door made him able to see the poor little figure of the girl, weak and barely breathing. She has been given an oxygen therapy along with other breathing treatments.

As the door completely closed, he averted his attention at the short boy who no longer had his Mom by his side. The doctor had updated him about Natsu's condition and he just nodded as a reply with gloomy eyes. After that, they left the two and the nurse was a bit hesitant about it first, but the doctor convinced her after.

He took a step near Hinata while the boy sat back on his seat in front his sister's room, "Not now Kageyama." he blurted out.

"Not now? Well when?" Kageyama mumbled, somehow frustrated seeing him like this, it almost remind him of that day when he was crying in front of his room, "Tomorrow? Next month? When I'm barely awake?"

Hinata quickly turned his head towards him with teary eyes filled with burning flames also, "Stop saying that. Stop talking like you're going to die soon. Do you see Natsu? She's barely breathing and yet you want yourself to end up like that?"

Kageyama was taken aback as he pursed his lips. Hinata cried out even more, his hands shaking and his lips is stained by his own tears rolling down nonstop.

"Please stop... stop wasting your life like this." Hinata sobbed uncontrollably, wiping his tears quickly, "You're so stupid."

Kageyama's eyes softened as he crouched down in front of him. Hinata avoided his eyes staring right at him and continued wiping his tears away, "That's why I'm here." Kageyama mumbled, grabbing his wrist to stop his actions.

"I don't want to waste my life anymore." he said, bringing his wrist down as Hinata looked back at him, "I want to spend it with you. So please don't look at me like that anymore."

"Smile at me again, like you always do."

"You won't leave me?"

Kageyama reached out for his hand in comfort.

"I'll stay with you, Hinata."

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June 18

"Onii-sama, you read too slow."

A weak and fragile voice popped up while Kageyama came to a halt on reading. He looked at the small figure of the girl with droopy eyes and barely wide smile. The oxygen therapy given to her made her look more broken than the last time Kageyama saw her.

Blinking twice, Kageyama was taken aback while Hinata snickered. Pulling his mask higher to avoid Kageyama hearing his laugh, he was always so bad at hiding since the younger one still heard him. The kid just smiled weakly while Kageyama cleared his throat.

"Do you uh... prefer your brother to read instead?" he asked, glancing at Hinata who's ready to take the book from him.

She shook her head, causing Hinata to pout and deflate, "Onii-chan reads too fast."

Kageyama also snickered at that, making the human tangerine to huff and glare at him. Seconds later, they both heard a yawn coming from the young girl as she slowly closed her tired and sleepy eyes.

"You two..." she smiled, "look g-good together..." she mumbled before falling asleep.

Kageyama and Hinata walked out of her room, both flustered at the words she said to them. They couldn't seem to make any eye contact after that. They stayed silent as Hinata walked towards the seat in front of the room. Kageyama was about to follow him, noticing that he has something to say, but the nurse came and called out for him.

Disappointed and irritated at the interruption, he still calmed himself and walked towards her. Her worried and serious expression somehow made Kageyama anxious.

"Dr. Akiyama needs to see you. It's your checkup today." Ms. Park told him, making him turn his head back at Hinata who heard what the nurse said.

He was startled when he saw the stares at him as he forced a smile on his face, "I'll wait." Hinata told him, even though Kageyama was hesitant at first, he just nodded and followed Ms. Park.

After being led inside the office, Dr. Akiyama gestured for him to sit. In which he did, quite anxious. It was the first time in awhile that Kageyama felt nervous at his checkup. Usually he doesn't care anymore, as the news and updates about him are always the same. Not worse, but not also better.

"Didn't I just have my checkup two weeks ago?" Kageyama asked with furrowed eyebrows, causing the doctor to avert his attention on him in confusion.

"Kageyama, you had your checkup last week, not two weeks ago."

Kageyama's eyes widened a bit as he scratched his cheek, "Ohh crap, really? I'm bad at days... so I forgot."

"How long have you been experiencing being forgetful?"

"After I woke up last month?" Kageyama responded hesitantly, not quite sure, but a few days after that, he often forget about small things. He couldn't even remember where he put his phone last time, but that was normal right? Everyone experience that... at least that's what he thinks.

"How old are you?" the doctor asked once more.

"14." Kageyama answered quickly with no hesitation this time.

"You're 15. You're turning 16 this December."

The boy furrowed his eyebrows even more as he looked down, "I was 14 the last time I was awake. How am I supposed to know I'm 15 now?" he mumbled.

"Kageyama, you should take your situation more seriously. As we all know, Narcoleptic people gets attacked by sleep during any kind of activity, it's unpredictable. But yours is different since you sleep too long—"

"Am I dying?"

For the first time in awhile, the doctor saw the same 10 years old Kageyama today. In his years of taking care of this boy, he saw how he grew and how he lost hope in a matter of second. The question if he's dying was always asked by him, but it sounds so blank and stoic, almost like he's wishing to hear a yes from the doctor. But as of now, he sounds so broken and scared, like the same 10 years old the doctor first saw that day.

"Death is also unpredictable, Kageyama." the doctor's voice softened.

"But in my case, it's not." his voice cracked as his eyes was glued to the floor, "Tell me, did my condition got worse?"

Silence enveloped the whole room for seconds.

"Yes..."

In his entire life, Kageyama used to wish that he'll hear that one response to his undying question. However, this year's April, a very unpredictable encounter somehow made the mechanics in his mind working. It made him want to move and live normally again. As months pass by, the more his goal changes to something else that matters.

But now that he's hearing this in his life, he wanted to go back to the days when he wouldn't hear any response to his question.

"Am I going to get attacked by sleep again?" he hesitantly asked.

"Yes."

"When will I wake up?"

"You might not wake up anymore."

Kageyama felt his whole body froze upon hearing the response. He felt his hands trembling in fear. At last, Kageyama wish to live longer, to become more awake in the remaining time he have in his life. He wish to survive and hear that precious bright greeting in the morning again.

He wish to be with _him_.

"How can I avoid that? Tell me there's a way to make my condition a little bit better." his voice was shaking, but he still managed to let the words escape.

"At your last checkup, I mentioned about you staying away from stress right? Your emotions can trigger the sleep and stress is one of them. I suggest you stay away from the things or people that cause this."

_Stress? People?_

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, fiddling his fingers as he thought about the doctor's words. What makes him stress these days? He's the one causing this to himself back then, but now? Is it him? Is it Hinata? Is it because he thinks and worries about him everyday? Is it the thought of surviving and staying awake for him, the one that makes him stressed?

But how could he stay away from him, when he's also the reason why he's still trying to live right now?

"Is there any other way?" he asked and the doctor sighed at that.

"You asked for your situation to get _'a little bit better'_. For now, this is the best that you can do. 'Provigil' is usually prescribe to Narcoleptic people in order for them to stay awake. However, since it doesn't work on you, we're still in the middle of experimenting a new one in your case."

"Are there any... experimental pills?"

The doctor's eyes widened at his question, "As you said, it's still an experimental pill. Therefore, I cannot prescribe it to you since side effects can occur and it's still under experiment. You may take it and sign the waive after we're done with it."

"How long will that take?" Kageyama's voice trembled, either in fear or anger, "Can you confirm that I'll still be awake after you're done with it? What if I already got attacked by sleep before you even finish the experiment?"

"That is why you must stay away from stress right now, since that could get you attacked by sleep. As easy as that, Kageyama."

The boy bit his bottom lip as he looked at the doctor with empty and lost eyes, "I'll take the experimental pills."

"I will not allow you! That'll only make your condition worse." the doctor tried to calm himself down, but Kageyama's eyes was already locked at the bottle of pills on his desk. The doctor quickly snatched it, hiding it in his pocket and giving him a warning glare.

"It'll take long before the experiment finish. There's also no confirmation that staying away from stress can make me stay awake for that long. You know that yourself, Dr. Akiyama." Kageyama mumbled as the doctor stayed silent.

"Anytime soon, I might fall asleep and like you said I'll never wake up." he said as his eyes stayed glued to the ground once again, "I'm not going to sit and wait for that to happen while you finish the pills. I'm going to take this opportunity in order to stay awake longer. Even if the exchange is my life at the end."

"You're a patient, Kageyama. Not an experiment."

And with that being said, the doctor ended the checkup as he let the nurse assist Kageyama back to his room. The boy stayed silent the entire walk back to the familiar hallway. His eyes only softened when he saw the short boy swinging his legs back and forth on the seat. Upon hearing their footsteps, Hinata turned his attention on their direction, quickly standing up and rushing towards Kageyama.

"How did it go?" Hinata asked, a bit anxious, but he still replaced that fear with a small smile.

The nurse stayed silent, taking a few steps away from the two to give them their privacy. Kageyama just stayed silent, not wanting to let Hinata notice the obvious fear and weakness in his eyes. So instead, he took a few steps forward to him, enveloping the short one in a tight hug.

"Kageyama?" Hinata called out in confusion, startled by the sudden actions of the boy, but he's not complaining also. He just hugged back instead and Hinata can tell how long Kageyama has been here.

As Kageyama clenched the back of Hinata's shirt, he suppressed the tears forming at the side of his eyes.

"Don't worry." he smiled, "I'm fine."

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June 21

Traces of continuous writing and erasing, Kageyama has been focusing well on the sketch on the sheet of paper. Never in his life did he thought about actually using his mind and pouring his all. Mostly because he never got a chance to continue his studies or go to school.

He never had a normal life, so at this moment, he's trying to live the best he could.

As the tip of the pen created another strategy on the paper, he suddenly felt so weak as his hand lost the energy to hold the pen. Feeling his sight spinning around and his stomach being twisted in a sick way, he rushed towards the bathroom immediately.

Crouching down, almost falling and collapsing, he felt the burn in his throat as he started vomiting on the toilet. He closed his eyes to try and lessen the dizziness he's feeling, however it wouldn't go away after that. It almost feels like he vomited all of his energy and hope.

"I don't want to—" he breathed heavily, panting and tears forming at the side of his eyes. Releasing a shaky breath, he broke down, sobbing and feeling his legs give up on him.

"I don't want to die." Kageyama cried out.

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"Is he sleeping?"

Hinata asked as he passed by Ms. Park, who shook her head in response. Upon the answer he got, Hinata felt relieved somehow and he quickly rushed towards the room. However, he was stopped by the nurse as she also catch up to him.

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, but he was quick enough to be bright again as he smiled at her, "Is there something wrong, Ms. Park?"

The nurse chuckled and jokingly punched his arm, "Do you think I don't know what day it is today?"

"Sunday?" Hinata tilted his head at her while she deadpanned at the answer she got from the boy. Still, she brought out the wrapped gift behind her back, pushing it to his chest as Hinata quickly hold to it.

"Happy birthday!" she smiled at him, causing Hinata's eyes to go wide, almost forgetting that it's his birthday today.

"Ah! T-thank you, Ms. Park." he beamed in surprise, his eyes glistening at the gift on his hand. He was about to unwrap it, but stopped in the middle of doing so.

"What's wrong?" Ms. Park asked while Hinata just smiled and shook his head.

"I'll open it with Kageyama."

With that being said, he ran towards the boy's room, bursting inside the room in his usual bright and cheery mood. Kageyama, who was still writing something on the paper, looked towards his direction as he scowled at him, "Dumbass, I forgot what I was about to write because of you."

Hinata rose a brow at him while closing the door, "What are you writing? I've never seen you done that."

The boy didn't respond and just continued writing instead. Hinata grabbed a chair, dragging it near his bed. As he sat down, he tried peeking on the paper, but Kageyama was quick enough to block his view. He let out a huff, crossing his arms as he waited for the boy to finish what he's doing.

"Did you take a rest?" Hinata furrowed his eyebrows as he asked this, seeing that he got paler than the last time he saw him. Although he has been eating a lot, he's still skinny, no actually he's skinnier now. The difference is so noticeable with his hands getting colder, despite the weather being hot. Kageyama told him that he's fine, however he's still not convinced by this.

"I'm not sleepy." Kageyama mumbled, making Hinata's eyes widened.

"Really?"

The boy nodded and sighed, setting the pen down. Hinata was still surprised at his statement, but at the same time confused, "For how long?"

"Just today." he responded, but glanced at the short boy, "I'm fine."

Hinata bit his bottom lip in hesitation, "You don't look like you are."

"You're the one who told me that I know myself better than anyone does." Kageyama said, catching Hinata off guard as he stayed silent. Eyes glued to the ground as he fiddled with his fingers, Hinata has never regretted saying such words, because of that, he couldn't stop thinking whether the boy in front of him is lying or not.

"I told you not to look like that." Kageyama scoffed, pushing the paper towards him as he looked away, "Smile."

"Happy birthday, Hinata boke." he mumbled, blushing in embarrassment at his own self.

"Thank you," Hinata smiled, but his eyebrows furrowed when he looked at the paper, "W-what's this?"

Still avoiding any eye contact and the blush still visible on his face, Kageyama responded, "You asked for me to help you win the match. I wrote strategies and drew the scenarios Shiratorizawa can do at the court."

Even though the drawing was a bit messy and doodle-like, Hinata still appreciated the effort he took in making this. Some of the people drawn in the paper was seen as a stickman only, probably because Kageyama has already gotten tired and bored.

"Thank you, Kageyama." Hinata beamed, smiling widely with closed eyes as Kageyama felt so warm at the sight in front of him. It made his heart pound faster, but he quickly looked away as he didn't want it to explode sooner.

"Ah! I almost forgot." Hinata exclaimed, unwrapping the gift given by the nurse as Kageyama looked at it also, "Ms. Park gifted me this." he smiled and as soon as it was fully unwrapped, a polaroid can be seen on Hinata's hands.

His eyes widened in awe as he stood up to admire the camera, "Awesome!" he then glanced at Kageyama, who also stared at the gift he received on his hands, "Let's take a picture!"

At the mention of that, Kageyama's small smile dropped as his eyes became dark, "I won't look good in it." he mumbled, causing Hinata's smile to fade away also.

"I don't even look good on the mirror. What more if it's on camera?"

Hinata's eyes softened as he painted a genuine smile on his face.

"So what? You look beautiful in my eyes."

And with a flash of light coming from the camera, Hinata was able to capture such a precious moment and view. He looked at their very first picture and hope that it won't be their last.

"I'm only telling you this once, so don't laugh at me." Kageyama mumbled, giving him a warning glare as Hinata stayed silent to let him continue, "Don't give up on your dreams."

Hinata grinned upon hearing that, handing him the photograph, " _You_ are my dream, Kageyama."

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September 13

The slow, yet calm and peaceful way of how the clouds move made the two stare off in awe. Wondering if their lives could be like the clouds also, or perhaps just be one with the sky instead. A warm wind passed by, kissing their exposed skin as Kageyama rested his head on Hinata's shoulder, feeling his hands trembling.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Hinata asked, glancing at his figure as he didn't dare to move after feeling his weight on him. Though it's like a feather resting on his shoulder, Kageyama was so light now. It doesn't make sense, how time pass by so fast and how weaker his figure looks now.

The boy hummed as a reply, his lips trembling as he couldn't let the words out. His eyes are droopy, slowly bringing his hand up to reach for the sky. Despite it trembling, Hinata still managed to make it calm down as he held it tightly, bringing it down to his side.

"Snow..." Kageyama mumbled, his lips stretching into a small smile, so weak and fragile he was, "I-is it... c-cold?" he asked Hinata, glancing at him in worry as he squeezed his hand for warmth.

Hinata shook his head, "Can you see it?" he whispered, voice softening as Kageyama nodded his head, "Just three more months and it'll snow soon. Y-you'll stay awake, right Kageyama?"

The boy hummed again as a response, Hinata still holding his hand tightly as that's the only way to calm him down. He didn't know how careless he has been, but he regretted so much for not taking care of Kageyama even more. Natsu has been discharged from the hospital after so many treatments. Kageyama would always look after her whenever Hinata's not there to visit.

And Hinata believed that Kageyama will also get better soon.

"Don't you miss it?" Hinata asked, his voice trailing off at the end, "Being home?"

Kageyama snuggled closer to him, holding his hand tightly, but gently.

"I am home." he mumbled weakly, "Y-you're... my home."

Hinata felt like anytime sooner, his tears will escape his own eyes. The words made his heart pound, yet ache at the same time. It sounds so sweet, yet so broken. He didn't want to accept it, because this home that Kageyama loves might be left alone soon. Empty, cold and silent, like how an abandoned house would be.

"Is there anything I can say to make you feel better?"

Kageyama's barely open eyes, softened as he laughed weakly, "Silly... you already s-said... enough. C-calling— me... beautiful and your d-dream."

Hinata suppressed his tears, forcing a small smile to appear on his face, "A-anything I can do...?"

Kageyama released a shaky breath.

"Stay." he breathed, "Stay beside me... Hinata."

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The silence in the room was making Hinata go insane, however the boy's presence was enough to make him remind that he should stay sane. Kageyama was lying down, breathing and staring at the ceiling with his droopy eyes. He barely made any sound, only his soft breathing and shaky breaths can be heard along with Hinata's.

"Are you tired?" Hinata asked in hesitation as Kageyama didn't move nor glance at him, he just kept on staring.

"I'm scared..." he muttered under his breath.

"Rest." Hinata gave him a small smile, "I'll wait for you to wake up."

Kageyama pursed his lips, releasing a shaky breath, "W-what if— I d-don't?"

"Stop saying that." Hinata mumbled, "That sounds so stupid."

Kageyama went silent after that, feeling his whole body giving up on him. He didn't want to accept this, not when Hinata is still right here, looking at him with hopeful eyes. He didn't want to close his eyes, despite it already falling on its own, but he tries hard to keep it open. 

"Your m-match is near." Kageyama managed to say with his voice coming out as a whisper, "S-stop visiting me."

"Why? I'm okay, I can handle practicing and visiting at the same time. It's not a big deal for me, I don't want to stop." Hinata's voice trailed off at the end, the tears hanging onto his eyes as it's about to fall any seconds now.

"I d-don't... want you t-to get distracted. Y-you— need... to w-win." Kageyama's breathing slowed down as Hinata's grip on his hand tightened, "Focus on your dream..."

Hinata stayed silent, pursing his lips as Kageyama's eyes barely stayed open. Once again, he sees that same emptiness and darkness enveloping his eyes, taking away that hope and brightness in it. The sight breaks his heart, but he didn't let go, despite the boy losing grip on his hand again.

"Can you..." his lips trembled, "r-really wait?"

Hinata nodded quickly, "I promise, I will."

"You know... I s-still want to— c-celebrate my birthday..." Kageyama tried to laugh, but it sounds so weak that Hinata hears it as a broken sound. His eyes are so gloomy while staring at the ceiling and seconds later, he glanced at his figure with his eyes trying to stay open.

"—with you."

And Hinata can see what his eyes are telling him. He forced a smile, letting the tears roll down his face, "Before you go?"

Kageyama released a shaky breath. His eyes slowly closing.

"Before I go."

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September 15

Trembling hands reached for his phone on the side, his breath becoming shaky as he tried to sat up on the bed. Despite his hand losing its energy to move nor type, he was determined to make a call today. If his eyes are giving up on him, then he won't let his body do the same thing.

The coldness in his room wrapped his entire body, making him hug his blanket closer to him. Outside his window, he can see the faint blurry image of white snow slowly falling down. If only _he_ was here, he would've felt much better.

Pressing the phone near his ear, he patiently wait for the other side to accept it. With his hands shaking and his eyes feeling more droopy as seconds pass by, he decided to lay down for a bit. The call was still ringing and each time it does, Kageyama can feel sleep getting into him.

"Please..." his voice was groggy and low, "pick up."

But the call ended, with no one answering his call. As soon as he brought his phone down, he felt his eyes closing and the sound of the door bursting open. However, it was too late as he already felt the sleepiness enveloping him.

"Kageyama!"

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September 21

If one was to win a volleyball match, it would've been filled with shouts of happiness and tears of satisfaction. The footsteps that left the gym, right outside to celebrate the magnificent win they had. However, Karasuno without at least one member unhappy on their win, is a big down on everyone also.

One's happiness is everyone's, one's sadness is everyone's also.

"Yooo, Hinata! Cheer up, you did great." Tanaka shouted, rushing towards the boy who's at the very back of the team. Wrapping his arm around his shoulder, he tried dragging him away, but the boy only forced a smile on them.

"Tanaka senpai." Hinata tapped his arm, a sign to get it off of him. As soon as he did, everyone's eyes are on the short boy, concerned, worried confused or just a blank one. Hinata can feel the guilt eating him out at the sight of his teammates looking like this at their winning.

"U-uhm... I just want to say something." Hinata hesitated because despite these people being his teammates, he still felt nervous because they're people with feelings too. Sugawara gave him a smile and nodded, a sign for him to continue on.

Taking a deep breath, Hinata bowed at all of them, "I'm sorry, I won't be able to join the celebration today!" he shouted while biting his bottom lip in guilt. Their eyes all widened because ever since then, it would be Tanaka, Hinata and Nishinoya who's excited for food or celebration.

"Hinata is there something wrong?" the coach asked while the rest are still speechless at what he said.

He stood straight and grabbed the straps of his bag, "I'm not really the one who thought of those strategies and the setter techniques. I'm not the one who created such formation nor the drawing."

Daichi smiled after that, seeing the boy trembling as he confessed, "It's alright. We still appreciate your efforts on seeking for someone's help for us to win."

Hinata felt the tears forming at the side of his eyes, "It's not me. So please remember this person who helped us as he wants to be part of Karasuno also." he shouted, pleading and desperate.

With another bow being done, he felt the tears rolling down his face nonstop.

"Please remember the name Kageyama Tobio. Please consider him as Karasuno's second setter."

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"Chibi-chan."

A voice popped up at the corner, startling Hinata as he got in his fighting stance when two figures appeared. Once their faces are visible already, he lowered his fists down and tilted his head at them. The two's expression felt so down at losing today, as one looked away and one forced to stay blank as possible.

"We want... to m-meet Kageyama." Iwaizumi awkwardly said, rubbing the back of his neck while Oikawa still stayed silent and avoided eye contact. Hinata was dumbfounded, not sure if Kageyama would be pleased to see their presence or if he can even remember them.

But even so, it wouldn't hurt for him to meet new people, "Okay, but don't be loud. I'm talking to you, Grand King."

As Oikawa turned his head towards him, Hinata flinched and took a step back, returning to his fighting stance. Iwaizumi quickly dragged Oikawa away with an apologetic look towards Hinata. Travelling with the two on the way to the hospital is not so easy. The awkward silence filled the three of them and the fact that they were just opponents on the court lately.

Hinata has been wanting to visit ever since the missed call he got from Kageyama. He couldn't answer because of the practice match. He was told not to visit by him and the nurse also, not wanting to worsen his condition, he just did what he was told. However since the match is now over, Hinata can finally focus on him only. Upon stepping foot inside the hospital, the familiar hallway greeting him as he was about to rush towards the room.

But before he could, multiple shouts filled the hallway instead, nurses and doctors running towards a certain room once again. The same scene and sight was so similar to when he ran here for Natsu. He froze at his spot as he felt his whole body trembling. The two behind him was so confused as to what's happening, but they stepped aside to let the nurses pass by.

Hinata didn't want to accept the thoughts running in his mind, so he ran to where the room is, but find the door open with Ms. Park and the doctor in it. Some other nurses are also there as they pierced needles on his skin. Hinata can no longer hear the sound of his beeping machine. His heart has stopped.

"Is that—" Iwaizumi couldn't continue his words as he saw the boy laying on the bed, getting treated by the doctors and nurses as they focused on making his heart beat once again. The difference on his appearance was so visible that the two couldn't even recognize him anymore. They refuse to believe that this is the boy who once kept on asking for Oikawa to teach him volleyball.

The last time they saw him, his eyes are filled with innocence and hope. His whole body was perfectly fine, no paleness, no scars painted on his skin. No dark circles under his eyes and his lips was definitely not pale and dark. He was healthy and whole back then. Now they couldn't believe the sight that appeared in front of them.

"This is ridiculous." Oikawa mumbled, catching Iwaizumi's attention, "We got the wrong person. That's not Tobio-chan."

But no one said anything. No one protested, but no one also denied. He no longer look like the Kageyama they knew, it makes no sense. It's so unfair.

"The one we know won't be laying there, he wouldn't be here. He'd still bother me about teaching him in volleyball. That's what he'll do, not this." Oikawa laughed weakly and it quickly faded away along with his forced smile.

"Why is he trying to make us pity him? He should be out there at the court mocking us. Who does he think he is?" Oikawa wanted to sound superior again, he wanted to mock him again, but his voice started trailing off at the end and Iwaizumi noticed how he's trying to sound like he's not affected by this.

"Why is he here, Iwa-chan?" his voice came out as a whisper while he lowered down his head.

Iwaizumi's eyes softened as he sighed, "Because life is unfair..."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

_"Kageyama fell asleep two days after your visit. Dr. Akiyama just found out later after that, that he took the stimulants from his office and replaced it with a different one. He also signed the waiver, in order for the doctor to not be blamed. Those are experimental pills he took, Hinata, and we were once again too careless at another patient. Because of that, it affected his nervous system and instead of his condition getting better, it just got worse. You've seen that his heart stopped and we were able to prevent that for now, but if we didn't, he could've died. I'm so sorry, we're going to do everything we can to prevent his heart from stopping again. Kageyama is strong, as long as you're here by his side, he'll stay breathing."_

Those are the words that Hinata received from Ms. Park. Sitting beside the bed with the figure of the boy sleeping on his bed, Hinata couldn't help but feel guilty at himself also. If only he knew, if only he asked more and pushed himself. He knew something was wrong and yet he still tried to believe Kageyama's words.

He didn't understand how careless Kageyama's actions are. Why would he risk his life like that? Did he really want to die, as carelessly as that? He wanted to shout at him, to scold him even if he'll fight back. However, no more energy was left on his body and all that matters to him right now is for him to wake up.

And like always, he held his hand tightly as he sleeps. But this time, he will no longer leave his side.

"If I couldn't make you stay awake," Hinata smiled weakly, "then I promise I'll stay by your side until the end."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

December 3

His eyes slowly opened, fluttering his eyelashes and the darkness greeting his figure. The room was still cold and empty, however he felt like it got colder as he tossed his blanket away. Shivering and having no one to hold on, he grabbed his blanket again and wrapped it around his figure. He have the plastic mask on, so he removed it quickly as he glanced around the room.

"Hinata?" he called out, stepping out of bed as his feet was met by the cold ground, "I'm sorry, I fell asleep."

Tightening his grip on his blanket, wrapping it around his figure even more as the room stayed silent and only his footsteps and voice can be heard. The door didn't burst open and he couldn't hear anything from outside. His eyes averted to his skin, looking like it was pierced by needles so many times. What happened? How long was he asleep?

He took out the needle on him, blood pouring out after, but he didn't mind. There was nothing he fear more than sleeping long and losing the one he loves as soon as he wakes up. That pain, hurts more than a needle, more than a blood dripping from his skin.

His attention averted to the window, the curtains opened as if it was ever since December started. His eyes squinted, the once blurry image of snow falling has now become clear and visible. The view he kept on seeing everyday in such a vivid, is finally landing on his palm in a matter of second. The cold wind made him shiver as the snow passed gently on his pale skin.

His lips are trembling, but from happiness as he painted a smile on his face, "It's... s-snowing."

He heard the door burst open as another wind kissed his exposed skin. It made every hair on his body standing as he turned around to meet a familiar figure standing on the doorway. Kageyama can see him holding a plastic and inside it is snow. As the figure slowly entered, each step made his heart beat faster.

Hinata's eyes widened as he saw him awake, standing and enjoying the snow that landed on his palm. He couldn't believe the sight he was seeing, it felt like years after he last saw him, "Kageyama...?"

"Hinata, I'm s-sorry I fell a-asleep." his voice was shaking as Hinata bit his bottom lip, rushing towards him and enveloping him in a hug. The boy let the snow fall down from his palm again as he hugged the figure back. Hinata closed the window immediately, wrapping his scarf around Kageyama as he held the end of it gently.

He stared at him, observing every single feature on his face. He looks so pale and weak now, but that relieved smile on his face made Hinata's heart warm, "I was so worried, I thought I'm really going to lose you this time."

Kageyama held his hand gently, bringing it down and away from his face as he placed it near his beating heart, "Do y-you feel... that? I'm— f-fine."

"You're not..." Hinata cried out, clenching his clothe, "Why did y-you do that?" his voice trembled as he looked up to him.

"You put yourself in danger and your life at risk. Do you even understand the actions you just did?"

Kageyama forced a smile, "M-my life is already... a-at risk and I d-don't regret the actions I d-did."

"Stop!" Hinata sobbed uncontrollably, punching his chest weakly as if he wanted to just scream and shout at him in fear, "You always say you're fine, but I can see well that you're not. And yet I did nothing! Nothing, Kageyama!"

He grabbed his wrist to stop his actions as Kageyama's eyes softened at how scared he must have been, "That's— that's not true..." he whispered to him, caressing his face as he wiped his tears away, "I f-found my second chance."

"I found my reason to live... a-and that's you, Hinata."

"Why did you take the stimulants? Those are experimental pills, why did you do it?" Hinata cried out, burying his face on his chest as he let the tears stain it this time.

"I don't want to wait... for the t-time when I'll fall asleep and n-never... wake up." he released a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he rested his hand on top of Hinata's fluffy hair, "I w-want to survive longer. I want to b-be with you more."

"I'm s-sorry..." Kageyama whispered, hugging him tighter as if letting go would completely break him, "I'm so weak."

Kageyama let out a weak and forced laugh.

"You waited and stayed by my side, more than I stayed awake."

And that made Hinata wipe his tears away. He smiled, genuinely.

"You're enough. You and your presence."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

December 22

"Kageyama! Wake up!"

The door burst open as Hinata's bright and excited figure rushed inside, startling the boy who was staring at the snow outside lately. He turned his head towards the direction, sighing and smiling at the sight he always see, yet miss the most.

"I'm awake." he mumbled and Hinata's smile grew wider because of that.

"Guess what day it is today!" Hinata beamed, jumping up and down as he impatiently waited for Kageyama's response. The blueberry haired boy was dumbfounded as he just scratched his cheek.

"Tuesday?"

This caused Hinata to frown and stopped from his jumps, "Bakayama! When's your birthday?"

Once again, he was dumbfounded, "December... 21." he hesitantly said, making Hinata go silent as his smile faded away. Upon the mood dropping and the atmosphere around them becoming heavy, Hinata decided to just brighten things up.

"It's 22." he smiled causing Kageyama to widen his eyes in realization.

"O-oh, right... sorry dumbass, I'm just bad at days."

"But that's a date." Hinata blurted out, blinking twice and tilting his head while Kageyama scowled at him.

"I know!"

Hinata beamed once again, gently dragging him out of bed as Kageyama just went along with the flow, still speechless, "Well then, go change! We're going outside!"

"O-outside?" Kageyama asked, his eyes averting towards the folded clothes on his hands. This would be the first time in so many years that he'll be wearing normal clothes. No more hospital gown for today and that made him brighten up.

"Quick!" Hinata shouted, pushing him towards the bathroom.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

December is the month that some people dread to come, either because of Christmas or it's just the last month of the year. But Kageyama has just one reason, to celebrate his birthday with a special someone under the snow again. Replacing every painful memories in his mind, he created a new one today.

They laughed, cried and fought together. Each snow that landed on their palm also count the time they have for today. They did everything they could do, freely and like everyone else. Kageyama has never felt so human and alive before. Every moment was so precious to him, every seconds, minutes and hours.

"Can you see it?" Kageyama mumbled, staring at the sky as it snowed, "Is it really snowing?"

Hinata smiled, reaching for his hand as he held it tightly before bringing it down, "It's there. It's winter, it's finally snowing, Kageyama."

And Kageyama has never felt so relieved in his life as he smiled.

"I'm so glad."

The day was almost ending, the night has quickly fallen as they stayed on the rooftop they always use to cry and laugh at. It was so enchanting, yet heartbreaking, how the first snow they had with each other could be their last.

"Did you win?" Kageyama mumbled, feeling his hands trembling once again, despite the gloves he wore.

"I did, for you."

"Don't give up on your dreams." Kageyama chuckled weakly.

Hinata's eyes softened as his eyebrows furrowed, glancing at his figure, "How? When I'm already losing it."

He didn't respond after that as he just rested his head on Hinata's shoulder, feeling his body becoming weaker as seconds pass by. It's so unfair, it doesn't make sense, it's only been days, why can't he just stay a little longer?

"I want to know what I am to you." Hinata mumbled, staring at the sky as it never look so hopeless and dark before.

"I'm sorry, I brought you to my depressing life. But I'm thankful, that you still choose to stay. You're the reason why I'm still breathing and I couldn't ask for more, this moment and the months we spent together is enough. I'm so glad you came into my life, I'm so glad you're the first one I saw when I woke up. I've never been so happy to be awake."

Hinata pursed his lips, his heart aching at the words as it almost came as a whisper. His voice trailed off at the end and he couldn't help but let the tears slowly fall down together with the snow.

"I didn't want to say this because it's not just me expressing my emotions, but because it means staying with you and living together for the rest of our lives. And I'm sorry, because I wouldn't be able to do that and yet I still want to say it,"

Kageyama released a shaky breath as he smiled.

"I love you. I really do."

Hinata removed their gloves as he grabbed his hand and held it gently, "You'll always have a special place in my heart. And that spot will forever be yours, Kageyama. I love you too."

Kageyama's eyes are barely open, but Hinata can still feel his breathing, "Someday, in a different place, different time. In another life, I would no longer be saying these words to you before I go. Because I'll stay with you, forever."

"I know." Hinata forced a smile, holding his hand tightly as he felt him trembling.

Kageyama can feel his chest hurting and he can feel himself having trouble breathing. It was like suffocating him over and over again, twisting his heart in a sick way as he couldn't help but just lean on Hinata for support. He clenched his hand, feeling the pain growing. It hurts, it hurts more than the pain he felt before.

"Hinata..." he called out, "I'm tired."

Hinata's eyes widened, because he has never heard Kageyama say that. He'll always say he's scared and Hinata would just hold his hand and wait for him to wake up after. But it made him smile more with the tears rolling down his face nonstop.

"Can I sleep now?"

His eyes are almost closing. Kageyama looked at Hinata for the last time.

"All you ever did was stay awake for me. It's such a selfish thing for me to say, but you never complained. You stayed awake long enough, even if it hurts, and I couldn't ask for more than that."

Hinata kissed his forehead and watched as his eyes slowly closed peacefully.

"You can sleep now, Kageyama."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

**_A year later_ **

April 18

"Bakayama! Bakayama! Your boyfriend is here to brighten your day!"

The nurses and doctors he passed by, no longer smiled at his figure as he skipped his way towards the room. Despite him smiling wide and his eyes looking bright, they knew it'll change as soon as he opens the door of the room. It has always been like that.

Hinata is no longer the bright person he is.

As the door flew open and he bursted inside the room, the same peaceful sleeping figure still lay there. Although he did recover from Narcolepsy because of the experimental drugs, it worked but at the expense of his very life. According to the doctor, Kageyama is already brain dead and the only thing keeping him alive right now is the machine, as that's what Hinata also wants.

However, as he sat on the chair beside his bed, as he saw that peaceful face and his body staying still, Hinata knew that he is just making him suffer even more. His eyes stayed gloomy, but even as minutes or hours have passed, he was still somehow waiting for him to open his eyes.

But once again, one of them has to let go, "I'm ready." Hinata mumbled, knowing that the doctor and nurse's presences are behind him.

Ms. Park rushed towards him, hugging him behind and letting the tears fall down on her face. She'll never forget the sight she saw at the rooftop that day. Kageyama sleeping peacefully on his shoulder while Hinata just smiled at the sky with no tears visible on his face.

"He's really okay this time, Hinata." Ms. Park said, before stepping away from him as the doctor sighed, glancing at the boy and walking towards the machine.

"Sleep well."

Hinata looked at him and grabbed his hand gently, remembering how Kageyama always ask for him to hold it before he sleeps. For the last time, he saw him finally sleeping peacefully. Away from the pain.

"I got you." Hinata mumbled, bringing his hand up as he gave it a peck.

And as if the wind blew to announce a presence, Hinata felt the arms of the one he loves, enveloping him for the very last time.

_"You got me."_

The doctor pressed the button on the machine.

"Kageyama Tobio, Time of Death: 4:48 PM."

_**END** _


End file.
